Dealing with Rejection!
Rejection. What an ugly word, right? Being rejected never feels good because we are being denied something and usually by someone. And the worst thing about rejections is that it’s mostly out of our control. Throughout our life we will experience rejection when we try new experiences or change our way of doing things. Yes, we all know that “failing fast” is good because of that immediate feedback...but it hurts! Sometimes our loved ones reject us for one reason or another. I want to focus on handling rejections because we need figure out the best way to approach life in difficult times.
When I was applying to business school I was rejected by all schools except one. I have also been rejected by many jobs throughout my career. As a sales associate, I received my fair share of rejections. Sales people get rejected all the time! For those of you in sales, how many people do you need to ask for the sale before you get one? Many, many times, right? But one needs to consider a few things about rejection.
Rejection is (probably) out of our control: Most of the time it’s not because of anything that we did. There are many variables for accepting or denying an applicant. Also, not everyone wins all the time. For every winner there is also another person on the other end being denied. Just like sports, not everyone can win and that’s just life.
Rejection is necessary to received feedback: Although you may be in a lot of hurt and even feel angry. Try to learn at least one thing from the experience. What would you do differently if the situation repeated itself? Even if you wouldn't make any changes, what can you learn from your competitors or other people around you. You may even find new opportunities and see things a bit different.
Rejection is in the path to success: Being worried about rejection all the time is not feasible. When we try something new we open ourselves up for failure. We become vulnerable. In order to get ahead, you need take risks and fall on your face. But guess what? The rewards are also waiting for you. Endurance and perseverance have been attributes of ultra-successful people because they understood how to react to rejections.
But if there is one thing to take away is that you should always address failures right away! If not, then these situation can take an emotional toll on you. Your mind may start to play games with you. For example, you may start blaming yourself. You may begin to believe that you are failure. But DON’T let these thoughts cloud your judgement! When a failure happen, try to learn from it but most importantly remind yourself of the skill you bring to the table and understand the importance of not taking it personal (easier said than done). Some tasks have a higher chance of rejection, like sales, so you need to recalibrate your expectations. Create rational expectations and understand that yes it’s painful but that a lot of good can also come from it. You will become a better person by conquering rejections and have a new frame of reference.
Again take care of yourself and be okay with rejection because unfortunately it's not going away any time soon. It’s waiting for you as soon as you begin your next endeavour.