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Careers are a piece of cake

Guide to landing an awesome career in 10 easy steps

You will be amazed and paralized by the amount of knowledge I will give you today. Everything else will become useless and you will be in awe. So hang on to your seat as you get the best advice in your lifetime. If you do the following, everything will become super easy and things will be given to you in a silver platter.

1. Only apply and recruit at the top firms: Wasting precious time on back-ups and firms you never heard of isn’t cool. The relationships that the career center ar your school or alma mater has made with regional firms should be at the bottom of your list.

2. Dress like a boss, nothing else matters: Instead of spending time on interviewing skills or polishing up your resume, go out and get the best and most expensive outfit. People will listen to you if you look the par.

3. Ask simple questions about the company: Don’t spend too much time researching the company. The interviewer can fill you in on what the company is doing and you can make up your mind if this is even a company worth pursuing. You can always wing-it. Interviews are very short and the amount of effort to research is very time consuming.

4. Copy whatever others are doing: If it works for other people, it will also work for you. Copy like no other and make sure to take credit for ideas that are not yours. Everyone borrows people's ideas and thoughts, why can’t you?

5. Constantly say how awesome you are, brag all the time: Tell them how great you are and overpromise. It’s all about winning and getting the best job. Never admit that you don’t know the answer because this makes you look weak in front of others.

6. Add lots of buzzwords to your resume and use fancy paper: What better way to impress someone by using their language. They are familiar with jargon and it’s important to let them know that you are one of them. Use fancy paper to illustrate that you care about your resume that it’s impeccable even down to the paper type and color.

7. During the interview pretend you know everything: Again, it’s best to make things up then to admit you don’t know the answer. Yes, a few people may want to know your thought process but most people will just care about your intelligence.

8. Listen to your friend’s opinion even if they have never done it: Friends are an easy way to get ideas. They are your friends after all, why would they give you bad advice. If they say something you don’t like, then you can ignore them.

9. Apply right before a deadline to get a rush of excitement: The adrenaline that comes from applying right before the deadline is great. It’s boring to apply early. Life is about excitement and if you want to show passion, apply towards the end. If possible, send an email after the deadline to ask if you can still apply. They will understand because they will know you are a go-getter.

10.Expect to Win! Yes, winning, that's what life is about. And because you have followed all the awesome rules there is no way that you will fail. If you try, you will usually get it right the first time. Success is easily achieved if you follow my top key takeaways.

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